Archive for the ‘Experience’ Category

At some point in your life, you will encounter someone who is absolutely 100% perfect for you. There is a catch, though. There is always a catch. It could be a force beyond your control. It could be something that you bring upon yourself; your fears, needs, or feelings that you weren’t ready for. It may be an age difference, a distance problem, or some other way of physically keeping you apart. The point is, this person could have been everything you wanted, but they slipped through the cracks. They are known most commonly as the one that got away. But what if the one that got away is back?

He got away because of your immaturity. He got away because of the certain things you thought was extraordinary and you thought you can’t handle. He got away because you were selfish. He got away because you thought he wouldn’t be so much for you. He left because you made him thought you don’t deserve him. He left because he really felt unwanted when all he was asking was to love him back.

Gone are the days that you didn’t even think of him. You concentrated on building yourself, making memories with the wrong person, achieving your personal goals and having good times with the environment you were in. During those times, there will always be one thing that will remind you of him and how crazy you were few years back. May this thing be a letter, a word, a song, or even just a thought but it will pinch you on the inside. Even just a little bit.

Late at night when you are having the worst day of your life burdened with the worst person you’re with at the present, you are left with options of thinking the ‘what if’s’ like thinking the possibility of not cutting your relationship before with someone who was ready to give the whole world to you. What if you didn’t make him feel that you didn’t love him at all? What if you were mature enough to handle a relationship that time? What… If…?

You’d be insane thinking what he was doing during the time that he was moving on, what he did when you were enjoying the life of being single for a while, being with another guy for just split of a second and leaving him of the whereabouts why you have broken up with him, and you’d be hysterical to find out how he dealt with the heartbreak you caused him.

You will think that you didn’t deserve how well he treated you, how long he stayed with you, how would he stayed awake just to speak to you and worst, you’d think that you didn’t deserve him. But again, what if he comes back? You made your way back to each other’s arms, fell madly in love as if nothing happened in the past. Everything is so perfect. Everything seems to last a lifetime.

You’ve lost that person and found him again. The second time around, things just made more sense. Honestly, timing has a lot to do with everything. In the past, you aren’t ready for each other yet that is why you parted ways. This time, don’t let him go. This chance is giving yourself a second try just like giving yourself an extra bullet for your gun because you missed him the first time.

Give it your best shot.

 

 

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As I sit on a table surrounded with my housemates, I can see all of them struggling to comply with all of the requirements they need to have in compliance with their graduation. I can see myself on them as I was fighting against exactly the same things a year ago. With that, I can see that most people, if not all are doing all means to achieve his/her own goal. I’ve been seeing the same scenario in this table for the past months and it made me look back on the things I’ve had after complying all of these—GRADUATION, A DEGREE!

The day after graduation, I was torn between statements of “No, you must reward yourself first for working too hard for your degree” and “get up, find a job, pay your parents back for all the sacrifices and achieve your life goals”. Apparently, it is never wrong to reward yourself of some good treats for working your butt off in attaining your degree. On the other hand, it defeats the purpose of graduating on time if you make reasons of delaying your life goals, doesn’t it?

In a perspective of my young mind and experience in 21 years, here are some of my realizations after graduation:

1. Not figuring your life out just yet is natural. During youth, you are at the peak of your curiosity, exploring possibilities of doing this and doing that and the consequences of this when you do that. It is just natural not to know what you want to settle for in the future, exempting the fact that you graduated with a degree you really want to practice. So, it is definitely fine at the age of 20 or 21 not to know where you are going, just do not totally lose control of what you aim. Chill.

2. Your first job is not your forever job. You might have attained a degree in education or journalism and practice it in the first six months of getting that degree. It rarely happens that you practice your degree in profession, I congratulate you if that’s the case, but there will always be something in you to think over the box and have the urge to try other profession and savor how it feels like. Quitting your first job is not a crime at all.

find20job20logo3. You want to do so many things but you lack resources. It is like a norm in the Philippines that your parents are supporting you every step of the way towards your goals. However, most parents, if not all, assume that fresh graduates can support themselves right after. But that is just not the case. After graduation, you will still long for the things you do when you were in college such as hanging out with your friends, going out on a pub, buying these stuff and all. And it will kill you every time you want to do so but you can’t because you don’t have money. And it sucks.

4. Romantic relationship will be the last item in your life. This may not be applicable to all but you will be at the lowest point of your life because of confusion in priorities. You will not know how you will be able to start in achieving your wants. It is very difficult to be in a relationship without knowing your own sense of direction. So do not expect those relationship goals just right after graduation because reality in life slaps real hard.

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5. You will have the worst feeling of inferiority. It is awful to be belittled by other people but at some point in other people’s life, they feel inferior, especially fresh graduates when it comes to job application. You must acknowledge the fact that you are not the only person who graduated Summa, Magna of Cum Laude in this universe, you’re not the only fresh graduate with that degree from that university. However, you must trust yourself and everything else will follow. It is completely understandable if you will be rejected a couple of times. What matters most is that, you tried.

6. You must plan your future. It really pays if you plan your life. Not just a general plan but a detailed one. When you plan a house, you just don’t decide when to build a house but you also must consider where to get money to build a house and what materials to be used. In short, you must plan what is gonna happen in your life and what you want to achieve 5 or 10 years from now. To make it more effective, list down the things you want to do or achieve yearly. Just a little piece of advice, take a look at that list first thing in the morning.

7. Failure is delayed success. It is inevitable that you compare yourself with your batch mates right after graduation. You will have the tendency to compare their success to your success and you will realize that some of them are already ahead of you in the race. Maybe that is because they are so eager and so driven not to be left by time. The extra amount of effort and hard work made all the difference. Maybe, it is no just your time to shine like they do, or maybe there are better things ahead of you that God made you wait for. Just always remember that the best things come to those who wait but better things happen to those who chase them. You’ll shine when you least expect it.

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Things do not always work the way you want them. They happen in the most candid way, in your least expected timing. You do not expect these phenomena to happen but I surely that if they do, just trust yourself and trust God, you’ll be perfectly fine. These things are better in their right timing. Just relax as you witness magical objects in your life unfold. It’s okay to stumble down, it’s okay to be confused, it’s okay to be rejected. Don’t rush, enjoy your life with purpose!

Couldn’t get over this most terrific exchange program I was in so far. So many connections established, camaraderie gained, and learning digested. Thank you, United States of America! 🙂

 

 

 

There are feelings that have been lost, feelings that have faded away, feelings that have been deformed by the circumstances, feelings destroyed by conditional terms, and feelings ruined by another stronger destructive feeling. Whatever feelings those maybe, feelings are still feelings demanded to be felt no matter how you avoid and deny it.

The heart never says to stop loving. It’s the heart that opens your mind to the reality and finally it’s one’s decision to take it or leave it. Some feelings do fade away, falling out of love as it is called, and it’s during one’s moving on process that one realizes that life is too short to be anything but happy. But, can two broken hearts find comfort in each other?

No one have fathomed the possibility of finding comfort and love in one person who’s broken. Broken by love, by the cruelty of life, consequences of bad decisions made before, and loss of hope thinking of no chances to win everything back again. Persons who thought that they do not have any more right to be happy, to love and to be loved, persons who thought their world has ended. Yes, it is possible for two different jagged hearts to fall in love and start anew.

close up of a heart shape with bandage on white background

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Love doesn’t require couples to be perfect. As the old, probably most cliché, saying goes- ‘You don’t need to find the perfect person to love, but you have to accept a flawed person and love him/her perfectly”. Given the fact that it’s like once you’ve been hurt, you’re so scared to get attached again, like you have the fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart. It is as it may seem, but that isn’t how love works.

There comes a point in our lives, always, when we do things or mistakes, ones we thought we would never capable of doing. That doesn’t mean that we are bad people, it only means we are not perfect. In those moments, everything is put to the test- our friendships, our relationships, who we are and who we can still become. In the process, we wonder, who will accept that we are only human and we admit to making mistakes, who will forgive us and who have enough faith in us. In those same moments, we begin to find the real ones, the best ones, the ones who, no matter how tough and crazy it gets, will always love us enough. Just enough to stay and start over with us. We may choose to let these mistakes consume us and then define us but we can always choose to forgive it, own up to it and rise above it. We should always know that in spite and because of these mistakes, we can become better people and that making mistakes happen-even to the best of us. No matter what, we should never stop having hope, keeping Faith and believing, that one blessed day, we will redeem everything and right there we would know as maturing individuals we finally got our second, third, fourth, fifth chances,

Moving on is a tough process. You need to be real strong in order to get over with it. It happens to everyone as they grow up, you find out who you are and what you want, and then you realize that people you’ve known forever don’t see things the way you do. So you keep the wonderful memories, but find yourself moving on.

Yes, it is possible for broken hearts to be restored to a place of health and emotion again, demonstrate love, and forgive.

As I received the news that a super typhoon was coming, I acted like a normal creature. Acting like everything will be under control and everything is going to be alright like every other typhoon comes to our country. I was wrong.

The Philippines has been in grief these past few days. It was because of super typhoon Yolanda with international name Haiyan. It was the strongest typhoon for me because this was the first time I have seen the strongest winds that feared nothing. Electricity went out, different kinds of trees have fallen, and many houses have been destroyed. The tragedy has occurred few days earlier, and so the total number of death has not yet determined. All I know is that, hundreds of families is now in the state of trauma.

Yolanda had its landfall at exactly 11:45 A.M. of November 8, 2013 in our place, Banate, Iloilo. At first, you can only feel the whispering of the wind, the tiny drops of rain, and the sound of the dancing leaves. At the later part, the wind becomes stronger and the rain poured so hard, Yolanda was unstoppable. It begun to tear off the roofs of every houses and It begun destroying everyone.

Earlier that day, I rushed to the terminal so I can catch a trip from the city to my hometown. I decided to go home because I thought that Yolanda will be stronger in the city (just like what Typhon Frank was 3 years ago). I was wrong. During my trip, I have seen that the streets are empty- no vendors, not too much vehicles and PUJs. Some already cut off their tall plants to avoid unlikely happening when Yolanda arrives.

There were 4 of us who are staying in our house, my mum, my Dad, and someone who helps us do the chores in the house. When I arrived, my dad really looked worried. Just then I realized that me too should be worried since our house is 3 decades old and that it is made up of woods. It is just easy to be flown by strong the wind since it is a two-storey house.

Our loud prayer competed with the noise of the wind. I can clearly hear how it was like when the wind knocked out trees and posts. I was also surprised when our rice mill has devastated by the fearless wind. It blown away the roofs of the rice mill, leaving sacks of rice inside it, wet.

Billboards had broken down and sheds crumpled with each other like a paper. Everyone was nervous on what Yolanda can do, but most of them believed that prayers are the strongest. In other barangays, people just tie their roof and ceiling and hold them up so the wind will not be able to blow them up.

At the middle of the storm, I decided to visit our kitchen. I saw our tied dog, fighting his state of being afraid against the falling debris on the roof. I decided to go out, and tried letting him go so I could transfer him in a safer place. But then, I wasn’t able to do it because he closely bit me. I asked a man in our neighbourhood to do it for me.

The heavy rain and the strong winds ended at nearly 8 o’clock in the evening. Just then we realized how cruel Yolanda was to our town. We can see wires and cables down the street and the roofs scattered everywhere.

What we saw that evening was only 1/8 of the damage Yolanda has given us. At 6:00 o’clock in the morning of November 9, all went out of their houses, staring on the surroundings. Everybody was shocked and every one doesn’t know what to do. The sun came out as if nothing happened a day before.

Never did I think that everything will become this worse. Now, it will take a month or two before the electricity will be restored. Meaning, all the towns in Northern Iloilo will have to celebrate dark Christmas. Nevertheless, I really feel sorry in the parts of Central Visayas, particularly in Tacloban City. As well as in Antique, Roxas City, and Capiz as some of my friends live there. They need the most help. Every day for them is a struggle, fighting for their lives.

I think, the Filipinos do not deserve this test. But since God allowed this to happen, I believe that there is more adept reason behind why this happen. Please do not say that Filipinos did not get ready for the typhoon. We did. We did prepare to the extent that some already evacuated their area 2 days before. It was just, Yolanda was a monster, she was unpredictable, and we never thought that she was that cruel.

I believe in the Filipino spirit. Sooner or later, we will get by this. For now, everyone, who reads my blog, can do a little help to the Filipino people. I myself have been a victim but it is not a sin to help others who have worse situation than I have. Pray and Help for the Philippines!

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7.2 Magnitude

Posted: October 19, 2013 in Articles, Experience
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I have been a frustrated singer. I always sing in the bathroom instead. But when I was having my concert in the shower one day, I found myself rolling on the floor.

Never did it come in to my mind that an earthquake will come and visit my place. I should have known so I should’ve postponed my concert, kidding.  Seriously, that earthquake happened in Visayas was the strongest among those I have experienced. In my 18 years of existence, I only witnessed how a glass breaks on the floor, how the altar shakes and how students scream in the canteen when a mild earthquake is happening. But this one is different, really.

In just 30 seconds of earth’s dancing, Billions of infrastructures had been dissolved, hundreds of lives vanished, and numerous historical places have been damaged. Thank God that Iloilo has encountered lesser damage than Cebu and Bohol did. But we are still scared since series of aftershocks still happens and we could not deny the fact of having phobia.

One of the major damage that the earthquake has left was the ruined churches in Cebu and Bohol. They were made decades ago and they were like existing for more than 400 years. In just half a minute, they were destroyed. I guess, this is just one of Mother Earth’s warning.

Even the famous Chocolate Hills in Bohol revealed their vanilla filling. It is quite sad to know that the Chocolate Hills, which is known to be one of the Philippines Tourist attractions, has became a danger zone to all. But believe me, Bohol will get back in track in no time.

As of now, Bohol experienced 1,800  aftershocks(according to TV Patrol) and I only wish the safety of every humankind who experienced the tragedy. I am just so thankful that Iloilo, though experienced the same occurrence but not the same intensity and magbitues since we just experienced magnitude 5.0, has been spared for that earthquake holiday.

In Iloilo, classes have been suspended the following day since building in schools were checked by the city government as to secure the condition. Good thing the government has done a good deed on this aspect.

For now, what we can do is to pray. Pray harder that Almighty God would help us in facing this kind of endeavor. Of course, this will be a warning, too. Warning for people who do not calculate their deeds involving mother nature.

 

Alone

Posted: October 17, 2013 in Articles, Experience
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Being alone in a project or stuff has both advantage and disadvantages. Working alone at night, dealing wit problems alone, and most of the time, talking to your self alone.

One example I had was my trip to Japan. I was the only participant from our College. My batch mates came from all over the Philippines and so, I have to talk in Tagalog so we could understand each other. I also had one colleague with me, a true-blooded Taga-West. He is a Political Science student but we were assigned to different prefectures. Thus, leaving me with friends from Davao in my group.

In this case, I could barely speak Tagalog since I don’t use it as much in everyday of my life. I seldom talk to them in English because English was the only language that my group mates could speak considering the fact that we came from different ASEAN Nations- Brunei, Cambodia, Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, Myanmar, Laos, Indonesia, and of course, Philippines.

I could not deny the fact that when we get home to the hotel after a long tiring day, I look forward to someone whom I can talk to, a native speaker of the Hiligaynon Language so I could share what I have done for the day or what experience made me happy for that day. Good thing, I always end up in front of my laptop, searching the Social Networking Site and share to the world how great Japan is. Here is the actual speed test I conducted during my stay there and I have never seen this kind of connection before- this amazed me. Image

 

This experience of being alone also gave the advantage for me to know more colleagues and to explore the world of the Land of the Rising Sun. This helped me a lot in my personal growth considering that I have to work things out alone. This experience made me realize that being alone is not always about being sad, but of course, I can say that I was alone, but I was happy.

Next experience I had is deciding to be alone on my thesis. I chose of doing so because I am sick and tired of people are just dependent to you, but talk shit behind your back. It is like taking care of a pest. By doing so, I believe, I can preserve my sanity.

Yes, it has disadvantages like I’m facing all the problems alone. From searching for related studies and stuff, up to the printing with proper margining. But yes, I believe that this decision will make me become wiser and careful in everything that I do.

I am still in the middle of the process, but then I hope to finish this real soon. Not because of the grade, but the diploma for the degree that I look up to. One year more and my life alone will start. With that, I don’t bother dealing with problems of my life alone. I am confident because I have made it in my student life, why not in my adulthood?

If there is one thing I would like to emphasize, that would be BE INDEPENDENT.